Life Is Beautiful - 16 - Final

She started, “I knew how much you loved me and how much you cared me when am with you. When you said me about Priya, I was little worried and inquired. Also, I inquired about you in your college. All they said is ‘He is mad. He will be alone without even a smile or reaction. But towards the end of the college, he is seen smiling a lot, later started talking alone. Once he even shouted when we all were standing outside but calmed down within seconds. He would write and scribble many but everything would have only the alphabet A’. And about Priya they said, “There is no one named Priya in our class” and so she don’t exist!”

She completed and I was completely confused and said “this number?”

She spontaneously said, “My old number now with my dad and I sent you a message only after receiving that. I got your mobile now just to check it and it was the same as I thought!”

“Hey… She gave me a diary and I will show her what she wrote!” and took that diary out of my shoulder bag just to see it completely filled excepting January 1!

“I have her mail id too!” I demanded

“Are those mails sent successfully??” she replied

I was helpless; I could not mistrust her or even believe her. “Are you sure?”

“You mean to say I was mad??” I doubted myself.

She started, “I consulted a psychiatrist about this and he said you might have got obsessed with something and got something as the replacement. He called Priya to be your ‘hallucination’ and me to be your original. Doctor said that you are completely cured when you stop assuming Priya near to you. And I confirmed this when you said you could not see your Priya the day after I started talking to you. So, you are completely ok and you are back to normal!”

I looked at her puzzled. I never felt I had any such syndrome and I got cured. Aaradhana continued, “I said all this, just to show I do care for you. In fact, I love you!”

I forgot all those things she said few minutes earlier when she just said she loves me! The greatest ever feel is to be loved by the one whom you love – and it turns to be awesome when it was from your first love. I was speechless; in fact, the languages I know failed to give me any words to reply. Sometimes, its silence which speaks much important words in life.

We had our little snack and when we are supposed to leave, I gave all her little gifts I had and said, “I have missed many occasions to gift you but never will leave anything in future!”

She smiled this time and was silent. When she was about to retire, she uttered “I love you and will never leave you!” and I replied “I love you too! I have never left you since I saw you!” She smiled yet another time, this time her eyes little moist.

I boarded in my bus, when the bus started to move I said her, “Hey… completely forgot to say, I saw Priya here, just before you came. Will call you and say everything in detail! Love you! Take care! Bye!”

She started walking back slowly to her vehicle, may be a little confused state. Aaradhana took her mobile out from her purse with the beep,

#Beep#
"1 message received"
She opened, "Hi Priya, This is Bala!"


She turned towards me with her mobile in her hand. She was smiling till I said my last words but never knew why she looked stunned after I waved my hands when she turned back again. May be she would have started missing me!

Life Is Indeed Beautiful...!

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Life Is Beautiful - 16 - Pre Final

She has never asked me anything since we started talking and our bond (couldn’t name the relationship!) was 6 months old as of now. So I don’t want her to get disappointed. I know a little Trichy as well and so I prepared myself and said, “I will meet you by 5 PM”

She replied, “Reallyyyyyy” with so much of excitation. I said “Yes at Sangeethas, Trichy!” She was happy with that and said, “Sure!” and hung up the call.

I got up from my bed, got ready within an hour with all those gifts I had for her for the past 4 years and took the diary I wrote about Aaradhana. Packed everything and started to Trichy by 1:30 PM.

It was exactly 5:15 PM and I was late by 15 minutes! I was little worried but she was late as well! She reached by 5:30 PM. I guess girls always come late, making guys wait – whatever I don’t want to say such things and spoil her mood!

She was still the same – with a tender face and a lovely smile. I even forgot to smile by just staring at her. We sat up in a table opposite to each other near to the flowing water screen; she was much concerned about menu card and I too but just wanted to make that waiter leave my privacy! She ordered for me and he left. 

She started, “I never knew I will miss you this much bad. I know, I have no rights to call you here. I know, you would have really felt very bad when I ignored you. But, why are you doing everything for me? Do I mean that much to you?”

I replied, “No, I owe many. I couldn’t give my love to you still. I still owe my Life to you”

It was a complete silence of 5 minutes and finally she wanted to make things normal. She asked for my mobile phone and I gave mine. “No games in it!?”

I wonder how in earth only girls look for games even in a smartphone other than its features! I replied, “I don’t have time to play them!”

She returned and suddenly asked, “You said a lot of things about Priya, right?”

I was taken back with hers. It was full of wit when she asked it and I don’t know how to react. I fumbled and finally said, “Yeah why?”

“Girls are much of possessive kind, you know? I don’t want you to have any other friend who is a girl. So I approached some of your new college class mates and enquired about Priya!”

“Ha… Ha… Ha... You could have told me that na? I would have made you both friends!”

She was much serious now and said, “Can you? Really? Have you seen Priya!?”

“Hey… She is my only friend there. I know her. She too does and Whats the doubt in it?”

She replied straight and confident, “Priya doesn’t exist!”

“What the hell? How can you say a person not to be in earth?” I could not control my temper and I know I would be looking furious.

She calmed me down and said, “Can you prove it?”

I took my mobile and showed her number, “It may be hers, or definitely her fathers. Give it a try!” I was pretty confident in that but she remained very calm and asked me to hear her for five minutes. I calmed down and had a glass of water

Life is Beautiful

Life Is Beautiful - 15

There was dumb silence in the other end. I slowly regained my conscious and started thinking whether I have made a blunder by proposing it in the very first call. But I persuaded that feel, “I have never felt anything other than that and so I said and nothing wrong in that!”

She was silent still and even I. I have no other words to say without her reply. The only better thing in a phone conversation is she can’t turn the other side, even if she does, I will not be able to see! The worst thing in a phone is that she runs out of my balance unknowingly with her silence!

I was happy enough that she didn’t cut my call and so I had a small ray of hope and continued, “Aaradhana? There?”

At last she broke her silence, “Yeah Bala, shall we talk something else?!”

I don’t want to press her more and I wanted to talk what all I had in all those three year memories. I am pretty sure I will never run out of topics while talking to Aaradhana coz she will have much than me!

Our conversation started with a standard ‘Am fine – You fine’ and developed through various topics of interests and finally the bond between ‘Airtel – Aircel’ was broken after 59 minutes and Rs. 29.97 paise struggle. It was 7:00 PM and we had lot more time. She too would have thought the same I guess, she called me back and it went on till 10:00 PM and again the connection was lost! I guess it was from her end this time.

She texted, “Hey, sorry. Out of balance”

I replied “No issues, text me ;)!”

It went on till I fell asleep texting her and when I woke back, I was surprised to see 16 unread messages and all from her! I replied with a ‘Gud morning’ and started for my college.

I wanted to say Priya about Aaradhana and how happy I am now. I know Priya would certainly be happy when she sees me happy. The whole class was present and even some people asked me, “You seem so happy!” I was much happy hearing that too!

But.. Priya was not there and I don’t know why!

My college got over and till that I could never see Priya again. I was little worried in college but in home I was pretty happy texting – calling – chatting with Aaradhana. I even shared everything about Priya to her, she was so jovial in taking things and she even wanted to meet her. I would have said even I wanted to meet Priya, but I don’t know how and when. Aaradhana made my holidays damn interesting with those texting and calling routine.

I never proposed Aaradhana again and so she was much comfortable with me. I don’t want to break this relationship and will love as long as it goes. I loved it that way and she too.

Few months later,

9:00 AM, August 7, 2011.

Aaradhana called me and she said, “Will you just come over here?”

“Where??”

“Trichy”

I was little silent and could not even ask her what for she is calling me. She continued, “Please, once?”

Life is Beautiful

Life Is Beautiful - 14

I was trembling down with more combination of feelings. I was happily confused – lovely insane – humbly proud. I felt like my Heart was pounding to its maximum without a single breath! This made me to oscillate my mind between the past and future. Every man is happy when he forgets to regret the past and avoids the fear of future. I could never imagine even those simple words out of her just intended for me! She knows it was me and yet she answered! It was all fun once again!

It was nearly a yearlong gap and she is back to me! Brain remembered something and started to speak again as well, 

“If you are confused about a thing let it go, if it comes back it’s yours, if not it never was!”

Heart was much happier to utter even a single word but this time with a little fear with Priya’s words – “You are your problem!”

I could not decide and it was quite surprising to see my Heart feeling something out of Aaradhana. But I was pretty sure, Priya wont mistake and she would be happy for me! It was a little dizzy feel when I had a small doubt, “What if Priya loves you!?”

Heart responded, “Dint you? You never thought of Aaradhana for the past six months and you want to get her out of your mind!”

Brain, “But I guess, I dint throw her out!”

Heart replied, “Then, why the hell you talked with Priya with all intentions to attract her?!”

I could not tolerate that discussion as Heart took the charge as the brain! One could never do anything without the complete support of Heart. I have had experience in convincing brain or even ignoring brain’s views but have never did that to Heart. I don’t want now too!

In a simple motive to convince, Brain started again, “What else could be the best feel when someone who ignored you for the past three years have turned towards you? What else could be the happiest moment when your first love – even not if accepts – just acknowledges?”

With a small pause which would certainly make think even ‘brainless’ Heart, Brain continued “Is that not your life defining moment, when she said, ‘Hello’?”

Brain was emotional and Heart was silent which was more than enough for me to assume am convinced. Took my mobile, just saved that number to be ‘Aaradhana’ and made my first ever call to contact ‘Aaradhana’! This time, ‘Munbe va’ seemed much melody and I felt like it was directed only towards me! The loveliest feel ever a guy could get is when you call your dear one and find a song that is perfectly matching your situation. Even if not intended for me (us) – I (we) assume!

She responded directly without even a hello, “Hey Bala, how are you!?”

I was laughing aloud within me with a silent smile outwards which she could hear through her device! I could not resist my joy and wanted to shout out louder, scream in joy, jump in air, hear a rock music and dance for it till I die out and finally I wanted to show how much I loved her!

I was busy imagining and even forgot to reply her and she continued with a pause after waiting a few seconds, “Are you there? Bala?”

I just returned back from my flying posture and replied her, “I love you Aaradhana!”

My first words for her!

 

Life is Beautiful

Life Is Beautiful - 13

I could not react nor reply for that message. I was wondering all alone at my mobile phone. “Was that really Aaradhana? Is someone playing a prank? No one close to me will do that coz they know me and they won’t play with that, and none other than my close circle knows it!”

“Is that Priya? She would have known that from the diary! But… That diary is still with me!” May be it’s not Priya. I started analysing myself and was checking the possibility of all known characters. “What if it was someone who I never knew?”

Random thoughts made my thoughts even more complex and it was clearly depicted in my face. Even my mom asked 

“Anything Wrong!” but I managed to smile and say “Everything is perfect!” I know nothing is my way now.

The 6 hours college was even harder to pass with the thoughts of Aaradhana having Priya just opposite to me. Even she was not looking ok today. I was wondering whether she knew my problem and reacting the same way I did. I even forget to wish her ‘Good Morning’ and never had even a single conversation till Lunch Break.

I just started “Hey… any problem?” but she never seemed to hear me and she was having her lunch. “Ok… leave all those problems. It will be all ok. Leave that. You want to share my lunch?” She was totally silent which was completely opposite to her character. I never knew she could be such silent. I wanted to say someone what I felt but I have no one other than her and she was not interested too. I have never experienced this kind of feeling before and I was begging her. At one point of time, I lost my temper and shouted at her “What the hell is your problem? Am I your problem?” and banged on the bench.

Some of the adjacent class people peeped through into my class; I just controlled and sat straight. There was a little murmur in the corridor and subsided again. When the bell started to ring, she turned towards me silently and said, “You Are Your Problem!”

I was much confused with that. I could not get what she said and I even pleaded her to say what she meant. She remained silent throughout. One could never guess what a girl thinks – I know. But one could never understand what a girl speaks – I just found out! I guess even Google will find it difficult to transliterate it!

I came back home with all those clumsy thoughts and still waiting for a solution. I could not be as happy as before and I wondered why my happiness is always short lived! I still did not reply for that message I received in morning. I could not either. I don’t want to talk to someone who was literally avoiding me to the extreme.

I know Aaradhana more than anyone. She addresses her to be an extrovert but she was never one. Always with her closed circle but a little more jovial than anyone could ever expect, with her usual activities, in her own group. Aaradhana would have never started a conversation rather Priya does. Aaradhana will never start a conversation with me. I was cent per cent sure about that.

Finally, I decided to reply that text message. That was an unknown number to me still but could not ask “Whos This?” so decided upon a new question “Was this real You!?” A small striking thought said me not to message because anyone can play in texts but not on call.

I decided to call. I have never called to anyone – to be inch perfect – to any girl, because I may not have enough topics to talk but ‘balance’ is main reason though! But to talk to her was once my lifetime dream, so developed thoughts to call her! Though there is 99% chance of the number not hers I still believe in my 1% luck!

I dialled 'her' (could have been ‘the’ instead of ‘her’ but I believed in luck!) number. It was ‘Munbe va… En anbe vaa…!’ – a perfect Shreya Goshal number – but was harshly interrupted with Aircel’s dull IVR saying “The number is Busy”.

I was not in any mood to give up. I convinced myself saying that she could have wrongly pressed the key and tried again. Once again she cut the call and I was frustrated. I could not tolerate more than this and decided to call until she picks up.

In my third try I could not enjoy the Shreaya’s voice and I bet everyone would be frustrated to hear the same voice again and again. When I was just about to give up, a much beautiful voice said ‘Hello’ and this time I cut the call.

It was once my most cherished melody, a beautiful music and a symphony in God’s art gallery – it was Aaradhana at the other end – God are you crazy again?!

 

Life is Beautiful

Life Is Beautiful - 12

The victory smiles, shouting gestures and happy time were just short lived. The success story ended in such a short span when I just read it properly – it was the ‘mailer demon’ notification. I could not find any reasons why her mail id was invalid. I felt some typo error would have occurred and just checked it with the diary which perfectly matched the address what I sent.

“May be she is yet to create that mail id. All she wanted is just to fill that diary when and where I missed her. I just want to do that!” I copied the whole of what I have typed last night into the diary’s first page (what else engineers do other than this!! ;)). It was quite easy task for the first day as I had a topic ‘New Year’ to write about. But for the very next day, I could not find anything to write about.

Later, I found an idea to write about what all the things I wanted to share with her. I wanted to say about my mom, dad, friends and my Aaradhana. The usage of ‘my’ for only one among all was little one-sided (no pun here too! :P)  but I couldn’t help it though. It was a one page story for my mom and dad, a few pages for my friends and I took till June to complete writing about Aaradhana (God Must Be Crazy Series! :P). That was the only work I did in the months holiday.

The final year of my college commenced. The class had many people of the same kind – don’t care whatever happens, some peculiar people – who want to work for the placements and one most peculiar guy – who wants nothing other than having a conversation with Priya. He talked hours but never with a reason nor with a cause. Every one sighed a bit with the ever changing behaviour but still the awkward of all.

A girl has lot more than what we call attitude while talking to a guy. Classroom chit chats – it’s I know you attitude, online chatting – ‘he looks cool’ attitude, messaging – ‘confusion’ attitude, call – ‘confirm’ attitude. I knew her mobile number but I never got the courage to text her. We were long lasted in ‘he looks cool’ part but it turned to ‘confusion’ when I just took my mobile nearing the fag end of my VII semester.

My first message “Hi… this is Balakumaran. Hope you know ;)” I was pretty confident that she will never mistake me and was waiting for a reply for more than an hour. It felt like a day for me waiting for just an hour. It may be coz of any reason, no balance, no booster, mom took that with her, mobile was in charging, my keypad was faulty, dint notice your message and so on! I wonder how girls have their own reasons when they don’t reply.

I really don’t want to reply for my message appropriately but could at least say any one of the branded ‘girl’ reasons! I dint talk to her in college and she was not interested either. She was normal and she acted as if nothing special has happened. “Did her dad saw my message?” Nothing was wrong in that message and why should I really worry. We both were very good friends and she was a kind of girl who would have shared everything with her mom and dad.

With all those thoughts I could never sleep off. I even prepared myself to speak her the next morning about the message what I sent. It was nearly early morning when I succeeded to sleep. Within two little hours my sleep was disturbed with a thought and I just checked the time in my mobile which showed 5.47 AM. Thinking of the regular day again with 13 more minutes of sleep, I checked my inbox which had 14 unread messages. “The twitter guys and Google guys never sleep” I sighed and marked all to be read. When I just tried to get up from my bed, my mobile blinked again with ‘1 message received’. It was from an unknown number.

“Hi… Good Morning.

I have changed my SIM. Don’t text to my old number. This is my new number.

Have a great day :)!”

-Aaradhana

Life is Beautiful

Life Is Beautiful - 11

Hi Bala,

I don’t remember writing a letter to anyone and so I don’t know how to start with or end it up. I just wanted to say I would certainly miss you so much in these holidays and I think you would miss me too. But I don’t want you to miss me, so I have written ‘Good Morning’ for all the 30 days and leaving the pages empty henceforth. You just fill it up only those dates you miss me and give it to me on the first day in our final year. Keep in touch. priyayours07@gmail.com

Yours

Priya

I was quite happy with that last line rather the filling up process for 30 days. It was as simple for me to give a chat request for the mail id. There would certainly be no home without an internet connection and so I thought we could develop through our friendship within this one month time. I opened my mail box every morning cheerfully but ended up little sad without any response. I usually run my mouse cursor over her name in my chat box. It would say “priyayours07@gmail.com - Invited”

I was little worried for the first few days. I don’t have any other means to contact her too. Sometimes I think, “Why do I need to contact her? Why do I often feel like talking to her? Am I doing anything wrong? I do certainly not love her. But sometimes I feel stupid missing her. Why is that so? Is she that much special?” May be she is the only one I know in my class now. I don’t have anyone to wish, share and care.

It was New-year eve and if I were in my old college I would have certainly be engaged myself with a small party with my friends. Here I have no one and my dad was out of town too. I was sitting all alone with my system. I could read mails – but I have no one to send one, I was available online in chat – but no one to ping! All those social networks were filled with New-year wishes but I was not satisfied even with a single one. Nothing seems special like a wish from the expected ones but in an unexpected way. Even if she is not interested to wish or accept the request, I can do it!

Started typing a mail for the New-year,

Hi Priya,

Guess you were busy with your own friends, party and stuffs. I don’t want to disturb or take away those fun filled moments from you. Just a simple wish for the New-year you can add this along with your long tail of wishes. Even I had many wishes but nothing seemed so special. May be I am waiting for a special one on this special occasion.

With love forever,
Bala

I completed typing but was waiting very eagerly to click the ‘send’ button exactly when my hall clock tongs the 12MN for the New-Year. I have never wished anyone so far but had nearly 5 to 10 calls missed every New-Year. I thought I lost most people just for my sleep and wondered now what if I have taken up those calls or at least replied them back in morning. This part is called ‘regretting’ and I was sure that Priya will feel the same for the next New-Year! I was little tired of waiting and so fell asleep very soon.

The next morning my first thought was to open the mail box and look for any mails. I was much happy with the preview inbox which showed there was one unread mail in my mail box!

“I started this New Year with a success story and I am happy to the core!” I even thought of shouting and say to this whole world I am happy again!

 

Life is Beautiful

Life Is Beautiful - 10

That was the very first conversation I could ever remember with anyone in my college now. Not so meaningful but it would stay sweetest ever. The best part with a girl is that when she loves to continue talking, she does perfectly even if the guy neglects or avoids. But I dint neglect or avoid either!

A month later,

A usual Monday but this time a little excitement filled with eyes that made my chin straight up to face the door. I was sitting all alone still but my eyes much concentrating towards the door. It would be an unusual sight for anyone before a month but most got used to it now. She just entered with a trademark smile and a special ‘Good Morning’ kind of thing with her eyes. It was her practice I thought when she did that for the first time, later I came to know it was just for very few – in fact only for me. I don’t know how to reply for that but would smile a little for her gesture. I was little happy but without reasons again.

People in my class changed their opinion about me that I cannot even smile a little within few days of our acquaintanceship. I know nothing about her excepting her name and I still don’t want to get too much into it.

Another month later,

Yet another Monday – I was sitting all alone. I was practicing myself to talk to her. Though it could be as simple as a reply ‘Good Morning’ – it’s tougher for the first time! We slowly developed to wish each other even with crowd thereafter. She would bid me bye with a sweet smile every evening and that was the only reason ahead of internals for my attendance!

It was the University Exams time and now ‘all the best’ would be the best choice of greeting every morning and post examination session would start with a conversation, “how was your exam?” My reply would be “Yeah. I did well” I even studied and performed well just not to lie to her.

December 28, 2009

It was the last exam day, it all started well with the all the best and the exams went well as usual. I prepared myself to answer her with some different words with the same meaning. I was searching all alone in my known English words and could find

“Hmmm… It was great and how about yours”

“Paper was bit easy and I did well”

“First you say… How did you do? Centum?”

I was little bit happy that I could get some replaceable conversations for the same situation. She came out of the exam hall and I was waiting for her to ask me the usual question. But she seemed not interested and was little worried. I could sense that from her dried up eyes but was stranded amidst the crowd helpless. The whole of charm was missing from her face and I could not guess the reason till she opened up and said, “we could meet only after a month na? It’s little tough na?” and she showed my bag and instructed to see it. There was a diary in my bag and certainly there would be something written in it I guessed.

I was not prepared for her question but got hold of that diary. I tried to smile a little but could not and she walked away. I slowly opened up the diary and it read,

 

Life is Beautiful

Life Is Beautiful - 09

I was having my meal in my table while most others would love to have it under a neem tree shade. Guys would certainly love to roam in the corridors and pathway between the hostel block and classrooms block. Everything was usual but there was one more soul left in the class having its meal. It was Priya. (I won’t let my readers make a wrong guess!!)

She was the most social kind I could ever see in my class but it was an unusual stuff for her to stay back alone. I don’t want to make odd guesses and make myself wrong. I don’t want to ask her either why she is back alone coz if she asks me the same I don’t have any valid answer to say!

I continued my meal and then just walked up to the class notice board to have a look at the time table. The class here was not same as I had in my previous college. Here we have three seated benches. I usually have two more sitting with me in my two seated benches earlier, but now I have enough space for them but I could just fill it with those memories when I sit all alone here.

It was still 15 minutes before bell and no one came back to the class. I guess those guys start from their places only after the bell goes and so they are always late. Priya completed her small pink lunch box and had a drink in the small 250 ml Tupperware pink bottle. I was wondering what has the colour pink to do with girls always! But never showed any signs and returned to my place and sat with my rough note open and play ‘X and O’. I would win if I feel like or draw it most times!

When I just completed a winning game, I smiled myself and started drawing a new cross. I couldn’t hear her footsteps, if at all I should have been alert a few minutes before as she was standing in front of my desk now. I looked up and closed my note book in a hurry. She smiled a little at my work but stood silent. I thought she would certainly speak something and just get away but she stood still making my place uncomfortable for me. When I just looked up again with a ‘What – Do – You – Want’ look she started,

“I don’t usually speak with guys without any proper need and in fact my friend said I don’t react this way usually”

I couldn’t get what she meant actually. With little bit of confusion I just saw her with a questioned face. A ‘React – How’ look and when I just try to start she will reply for mine!

“I mean – I never wanted to be alone. I don’t have any good friends in guys so I don’t know how well to speak with them. I don’t know what they like too!”

I could never get what she was trying to say. She was not the usual girl today – I too felt and without showing any emotions in face I just started “Why you are saying…”

She completed my sentence “all those??” I just nodded and she continued “Prasanna was a girl” and gave a long pause. I smiled involuntarily, in fact after months I would say and wanted to reply her, “you blabbered so long to say this??” but was wondering how in earth she knew that I thought ‘Prasanna’ to be a boy.

The first time I could sense a difference with her. I smiled at her and she said, “I just wanted to say this! I blabbered a lot I guess!”

She was waiting for my reply and I gained all my senses and said, “Hmmm… Well. I don’t want to ask you why you saying this to me. I know I guess!”

“Yeah. You are right!” she said and the bell rang.

 

Life is Beautiful

Life Is Beautiful - 08

Priya, a decent dressed modern girl, with all sorts of fun right from her birth will always lit up the classroom fun. She has a branded smile for which there were nearly huge set of followers even in juniors. The best out of her character is that she never escalates anyone to top or drops down to earth. Sometimes she would react more interesting which would definitely confuse anyone who is observing so close. May be she is the perfect of a girl kind – difficult to understand.

She is always a last bencher but never cares to sit in the same position with same buddies around. She was not the brightest of all but would maintain to be in top 5. She would never answer any questions in the class but would never fail to ask a question back when teacher asks her one. Though seem to be modern with her way of speaking and other accessories she use, she doesn’t show any kind of show off stuff.

She would never hesitate to walk up to my desk and ask me “You were watching me right?” but at the same time she will never wait for any response and just walk back. May be she wouldn’t want me to put me in an embarrassing situation! Later I came to know she don’t talk with guys without a need and I never knew what need she had when she spoke to me!

It was priya now who was asked to speak something on stage. Even the lecturer was little worried as she would take the whole time barring his class. So, he called her out first and asked to speak. She started without hesitation – may be all girls would have prepared and will always be ready. The time I was wondering but quite keen to hear from her.

She started, “Girls were not given equal rights and importance in India. Why even in our class, girls are subjected to partiality. Let us take this situation – there are 4 guys and a girl – but the staff wanted me to speak first. Why? May be he was interested in me!”

With those last words, the staff was completely taken aback and turned towards her. He was already sweating with the power cut but now sweating a little more with her speech.

She took a glance at him and continued, “Sorry. May be he was interested in hearing me speak. The fact is we have more male chauvinists who support only for guys. I dint mean you sir but in general.” She used this pause to giggle a bit and continued speaking changing her face back to normal! She would have maintained a good eye contact with everyone in the class. I never knew where she was destined in that fun filled speech. I was watching and enjoying the courage she had to speak out whatever she wants to convey.

“This has happened to me. I had a very good friend since my childhood. But my parents won’t even allow me to roam even in my hometown Tiruchirapalli!” and gave a little pause. I never knew that she was from Trichy too, in fact Tiruchirapalli now. I just don’t want to react and continued my posture staring with a pen in my hand and a rough note open. It dint surprise me much but reminded something I never wanted to remember again. I just put aside those thoughts and started listening again.

“… myself and Prasanna either in my home or…” I just turned up in a fraction with little amusement to look at her with the name ‘Prasanna’. I thought she has never had any friends who were boys but she does. I was not further interested, so started scribbling in my notebook. That doesn’t make any difference in her speech and it ended well. I dint listen actually and so I was the only one guy to clap but stopped with the first one. I thought to myself that there must be something totally witty against the crowd and staff in her speech.

  

The lunch break –

 

Life is Beautiful

Life Is Beautiful - 07

The vacations went on well, met all my friends and other mates. The worst feel is when you feel that you are alone with all your friends surrounding you just because you miss someone so dearly. Life seemed to be so empty after I distanced from her. I know that she was happy there but could never even enjoy her happiness anymore. I acted like a selfish stupid wanting for the everlasting peace.

The new college, new class room, new staffs and everything new but I knew very well what their purpose is. I am not excited at all. It was just a repetition for me. I was not ready to be social here and there were too many gangs of two year old friendship and they don’t want to include me either. The moment I stopped talking freely with everyone, I started enjoying the silence within me.

I don’t have any confusion within me to have a debate. Brain was intended just for studies and Heart was intended just to pump blood through the arteries and veins. It was a transformation – indeed a beautiful transformation. I enjoyed being up there with many unknowns not because I enjoy silence but it’s because I started a new practice of observing people. It was really fun watching people always. In fact, for a guy who have literally become mad of seeing the same person for years it was fun. But I have to admit that she showed many variations and was always lovable. I don’t want to dump memories anymore so that Aaradhana will never reach the bottom most part of my Heart. Still I could say – she is full!

The internals – usual practice of assessment and one of the most hated things in any college. I have never let my studies down for any cause as I do this just for my dad and I don’t want him to get disappointed. If I were an outspoken guy, people would have called me “Head – Weight” but I was silent this time so I could earn a new name “Moody - Studious”. I hate that word studious right from the beginning of my education I guess.

A month passed by, one could never separate me from my silence and I was cautious enough to fulfil what I am expected to. This was the period of solace one could expect to happen after a little settled in life – I achieved it before! I was silent within, before it all started again.

I don’t take breaks usually, so would sat in my empty desk and watch some people walking in and out. The bell rang after the interval and students were late as always. If it had happened in my old college, they would have asked to stand outside for the whole hour. But the staff forgave and allowed them in every time they came late. This time too he allowed them but with a condition – everyone was to share an unforgettable moment that happened to them. The main intention was just to make everyone speak though. Everyone in the group had their own reasons to be late. Off the 5 who were late, 4 were guys and the one was Priya.

 

Life is Beautiful