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பொய்மை..

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பொய்மையும் பொய்த்துப் போகிறதே!!

God Must Be Crazy - 13

A difference with the name is difference in the life – sound bit like a numerologist. My mom, my sister, Aaradhana, Priya and now one more new addition to my female fancy list. For me she is a Friend of all kind – I share, I cry, I dry my tears in her – I share, I laugh, I enjoy talking with her – I never knew she would be my best part when I just accepted a friends request via Orkut. She is Sahana. If Priya was my sweet mistake, Sahana would be my sensible mistake. As all those good happenings for me happened as an accident, this was the fresh at the time. We grew from Orkut scraps to Gmail chat. Chat was the best way to get friends for me. In the first conversation itself, I sounded little too close to share my love story to her! 

I enjoy talking with Priya but she was a hosteller and would be there online only till 6.30 or maximum of 7.00 pm daily. I really struggled hard to cope with my studies. Gopu even says, “Schedule potu kadala podriya da?!” But the fact – Sahana and Priya – mean more to me than the flirting kind! Sahana was not just another friend for me I know, as we had many similarities. I would rather say I had two best friends among girls – Priya and Sahana – one is reliable and other is sensible. (The converse is not true! ;-))

Mean time I suffered a lot with my studies as I came closer to complete my first semester examinations. Those exams were the first after 2 years long gap of Higher Secondary Exams. I was bit happy as I was just a few numbers behind Aaradhana. I used to complete the exams much early than anyone as I would have some more time to gaze at her!

It was the last day of the exam and I had my next opportunity – in fact my first opportunity. My department was not that much self-sufficient with staff members and so students are expected to play a very big role in the forthcoming National Seminar. That was the first job assigned to me as the Secretary and I used that too! 

Aaradhana was very cautious in maintaining the secrecy of her phone number and so wrote it in a white paper instead of saying that in public to the staff. The staff is much of a social kind and she gave that paper to me in her presence! There was an additional phone number which was Milk’s!

Brain, “All details Collected! :P  Detail ready for Gopu too!”

The staff wanted me to contact those girls during holidays and remind them often. Whatever, I enjoyed the day and marked that in my personal diary- a new one for 2008. It showed 31^st January 2008. I know I will never do anything with that phone number.

She is different, confusing, special, passionate and philosophical – overall she is a mixed bag of sensible emotions!

A year passed by and she was in no mood to accept me even as her friend! But there is a change as she always utters - she started liking college than her school life, she enjoys every second she is there in hostel, she started loving her friends more than god now! I enjoy seeing her happy all around. In love, happiness matters, whether its coz of me or not, she is happy and am happy for her! Still, she assured me that she will reply for mails – but never will I.

Life moves on and I am just another common man!

I love her – she will never know – I will never show!

Who is Crazy now? Is it Me or God?

Whoever!

Thank You All Readers For Your Constant Encouragement And Lovely Comments. More Than Anyone I Personally Enjoyed My Journey Back To My First Year! Once Again I Thank You All For Your Patience! Meet You All Again With The ‘SWEETEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE’!

God Must Be Crazy - 12

That was the time I got internet connection in my home. From that very moment I was quite happy as I could be more in touch with Priya as she would be online only in the evening. I rush up to home after I get down my college bus. It would take a normal of 15 minutes’ walk to reach home. But the Priya factor has reduced the time by 5 minutes. Still the time was not enough for us to talk more. I was bit worried as I was talking more about Aaradhana to Priya. She knows well, for that matter whole college knows well about my “one-side-love-story”. 

Now I have got everything every college going youth would be happy to have – “a PC with Internet facility and a Mobile phone with messaging facility!” Is that not enough to ruin the most valuable time of Indian youths? 

I was trying all possible ways to make Aaradhana speak to me. My 90% of conversations with Priya will have Aaradhana as my topic. Priya was the only source among girls to get some gossips and hot news in hostel. She would rather react stupid sometimes when I speak about Aaradhana, but she will never say anything odd or show her anger over me. Rather, say “Time up – Bye”! 

God was crazy once again during the lab hour – Engineering practice lab. 

“Aaradhana is angry and got irritated by your act. Don’t try to act smart. Bye time up” Priya’s last few lines in the chat. Puzzled! I was really happy that I am doing something to be in her mind always. I wonder someone or the other is also working for me! But it was not the case with her; I could sense the seriousness of the matter with Priya’s few lines.

Someone wrote my name beside her name in a paper which covers the work piece. The paper was clearly folded and kept in the shelves where everyone is allowed to keep their work pieces. Unfortunately, it was Aaradhana to see that paper before me! I am sure that I was happy for Mr.X’s act of joining our names together. But I guess Aaradhana was not too much into that. At least it could have been me who inflicted her anger! A deep silence prevailed within me and

Heart started, “Namma onnume pannalaye da!”

Brain replied, “Whatever, she knows the matter very clearly now. Happy?”

Heart, “hey, she would hate me now for no reason!”

Brain, “Hmmm… Yeah. You speak as if she loved you to the core before!”

Heart, “Whatever, she didn’t hate me before!”

I was all alone in my home and ultimate silence prevailed all around. Constantly I was disturbed by Aaradhana’s thoughts and Priya’s words. Heart was looking out of my conscious to solve this problem where my clustered neural network interrupted often!

“I only did that. Just to show how much I love you.”

“Ha... ha… you did that?? It’s the first time you gonna speak to her. You wish to lie?”

“Cha… Cha… it’s not me. Is this all you have understood about me?” how is it?

“She is not even your friend; she would have not even considered you as a classmate. Adhukulla understanding ah?!” 

“Hey… what will she think when I get the real person and say the truth to her?”

“She will be happy but do you want to publicize the matter?”

“No. Not really. She will be hurt by that act for sure!”

Whatever you do now, it will show your odd attitude and desperateness in her. It’s better to keep shut for some time and start following ‘attract-her-for-no-business” policy!

God is Crazyyyy Still…!!

God Must Be Crazy - 11

A missed beat, a feel of a rainbow, a child’s joy on seeing an elephant, a husband’s love to his wife after a separation, a dad’s pride over seeing his son’s victory, mom’s love to the child – but for Bala, its “whatever about Aaradhana!”

“Some info on that name board which you are looking for!”

It’s the first time when my heart and brain coordinated together. They both competed to help me at the sight of her school name board.

Brain, “It’s exactly the way it was stored in me. Same trees, same sit outs, same walls, same colors!”

I got down involuntarily and started walking towards the school. I was wondering the streets as these would have taken her footpaths some days earlier.

Brain responded immediately “Cycles!”

“Cycle’s footsteps!” I said.

“You love her cycle more it seems!:P”

Leaving aside brain’s pricking comments, “Really awesome creativity assured when we walk through that road. No doubt why she is such a multi-talented!” heart wondered.

First time in my life, I missed a thing. I was badly in need of a camera. I just wanted to show her, I have visited those places where you were happily wandering, chatting and had an ice cream or so! It will be nice if I show those photos or at least mail them to her when she badly misses her school days again! It was really a short dream relived.

The joy let me flying but just for few moments.

Heart,” That’s great! But I wish to meet her here!”

I started to feel alone in those streets.

“Mommm.. She is not here. I miss you ma. Should have been there! Nothing is going right for me”!

Mom called me right away. I wonder how people close to us got such a hold for us. Whenever we are in trouble, God sends them without interrogating. Crazy! I promised my mom to be there within 3 hours and hung up the call.

I started realizing my blunder of searching her all alone, and regretted much in my return bus journey. Though I missed the trip completely, I got a great new experience. But my mind was fully occupied with the thought of “Did I do the right thing? Is she the right person? Is she gonna be your girl? Will she be your friend at least?”

Heart replied, “You can define or answer, you can love or leave, you can decide or wonder, you can move with or let it go – It’s Life”. Much required words for one’s lifetime.

 

God is Crazyyy!!

God Must Be Crazy - 10

Stepped out on the platform with lots of confidence and wonder how big this city could be. The first step was not much noted as I have already been to Trichy! Still I could feel her steps in the same platform. It was not the same city when I first visited with my dad. My father seemed to be the world for me, for the first time I seem to guide myself. I missed my dad but it was better missing him than searching her with him! Keeping all such memoirs aside, I stepped out of the railway station. 

First thing I noted was that, there are many churches which were an ultimate contradiction to the Madurai city culture. The next thing is privatized city buses! All drivers were mad over the roads and no one on road even cared their funny driving skills. A bus crossed violently when I was standing on a road to cross it, with just a few inches gap to my shoulders. My heart missed a beat. I wonder was my life that much cheap to that crap drivers!

Brain, “Theva ilama vandhu mattikitomo!!?”

I looked up the sky which was a usual practice for me whenever I think I was in need of confidence. This time it was ultimate and I could notice the “Ganesh Temple” usually called the ‘Malaikottai’. Though God is crazy, he is with me still. My first trip climbing up the short cliff with my dad came just as a flash, as a cool breeze swept me off in the hot sun!

The only contact person available there was the Trichy guy who studied with Aaradhana. I just wanted him to say, I have come to Trichy just to see her. But he was fortunate enough to miss my call. He would have really thought am blind and mad if I have said him my current reason and situation.

To my relief a bus came with the exact area name in its name board. Thank god. I took a ticket to the last stop and started searching for her through the window which I know has only 0.001% chance of finding her, but my heart instructed me not to miss even that meager chance!

A Church! Hurray – heart beat faster now. I had a feeling near equal to a huge success! My peripherals directly responded to the hearts wishes and got down from the bus and started walking directly towards the entrance. Most people were walking out of the church which would have been a wonderful sight if I am not into the currently assigned process! To be true, I hardly find girls who are prettier than her!

“She was not there!”

Feeling pity over my mini-failure, I started off in another bus in the same direction. Soon after, brain won a battle over resounding heartbeats and screamed,

“Hey… Check out!”

God is Gonna be Crazyyyyy!

God Must Be Crazy - 09

Me, “Hey… Yeah. Thank you uncle. Am gonna start now!”

Brain, “Your dad in home now. Think of a reason before you start!”

Me, “Ha… Ha... Ha... Simple… Cricket!!”

Brain, “I will be blamed for this too!”

I am an ardent cricket fan since childhood. I am Sachin fanatic and have got most inspirations from cricket. When I was 5 years old, I usually say, I know two cricketers one is Sachin and other is Tendulkar! It is the power of Sachin in cricket just as the Superstar to the Tamil Cinema! So my dad won’t say a “No” whenever I start for cricket. For that matter, he never opposes my likes!

For the first time, I started from home wearing a T-shirt and Jean for a cricket match. Thank god no one questioned in my home!

I started off from home with my cycle and had a jumpy shortcut to the railway station as I was quite late. There was a huge rush in the Railway station. I wonder how so much people are interested in travelling on Sundays! Thank God, not much rush in the ticket counter and so easily got a ticket for Vaigai Express. 

“Ohh... God... this much people to see her today!!”

“I suppose you won’t even get a chance to see her house in this rush!”

“IT’S SUNDAY and obvious that it is crowded!”

I was just in time. I managed to get a seat, for that matter, a window seat! My favorite. I usually enjoy train journeys just because I will be able to meet new people and variety thoughts. Though I won’t be voluntarily speaking with anyone, I will be at least listening in and around. But I was completely lost in the travel this time. The feeling of pride overruled my confidence and I started imagining of getting a cup of Boost (I don’t drink tea!!!! ;-)) from her. I had much more awkward thoughts which was resembling a pre-marriage visit to the bride’s place. 

My brain stopped them with a blunt dialogue, “Nikkave vakku illayam, idhulaa…!!”.

I complained to the heart as usual, it responded “Enna irundhalum idhu konjam over than!!”

I said “Damn. I am not gonna trust anyone hereafter. Only me and Aaradhana!“

“Pochu da.. idhu enna pudhu kadhaya iruku!”, chorus this time!

It was the first time, am traveling in an unreserved compartment. I took a wide glance as any of my friends or relatives travel with me. Thank god, everyone else I know are well in planning and reserved tickets.

Its 6.45 and 2 hours from now…, with that thought I was completely excited. I am not even sure whether I would be able to find way to her home without anyone’s help. Whatever, I have started successfully and so I had the utmost confidence of completing the journey a successful one. I dint even have a written note of any landmarks or addresses but in my memory. I hope my memory never fails for me in this issue. Completely went unconscious in the travel, might be much tired of the sweet dream last night.

Its 9.10 exactly, the train siren blew hard. Black stoned sit outs all over and my eyes peeped through the window bars and finally found a yellow stone plaque. It stated,

“TIRUCHIRAPALLI JUNCTION”

God is Gonna be Crazyyyy!!

God Must Be Crazy - 08

Brain, “Stop thinking weird, you hardly know anyone there. Better stop thinking of it”

Heart, “What the hell is this, have you ever taken back your decisions?”

Brain, “People will criticize me for your act you idiot!”

Heart, “It’s just a Sunday… I will never get another chance as exams are approaching!”

Brain, “Am signing off… Good Night”

.              .              .              .              .              .              .              .              .              .

Hot sun similar to April or May, it never looked like November! May be the city Trichy is like that! It’s really a big confusing apartment construction. Every block seemed to be similar. I carefully scanned throughout and finally found the R3 block. Ran up the steps to the **** door. This must be the house. I checked with the name of her father, door number. I expected a little painting and drawing at the entrance! She is not too much into drawing it seems! May be they have repainted sometime before.

It was a small wooden door painted brown and white similar to my home. Confused with the cross hanging over at the entrance near her fathers’ name – which was a pure Vaishnavite Hindu name. A pure Indian family I think. Keeping those unwanted thoughts aside, I struggled to find the calling bell and finally succeeded with a small plastic switch at the top right hand corner hidden inside the door screen.

I thought of surprising her but I wonder whether she would at least recognize me and say

“Hey… hi.. Come in..” with her cute eyes wide open! Though I haven’t heard such words from her before, I could really visualize the cheek and lip coordination perfectly moving with her eyes rolling over my attire!

Even if those dint happen, I would be happy just to see her in her place. It would be really nice if she could feel the same level excitement by seeing me in her place.

I personally checked all my senses, ready with all such fancy dialogues to attract her. I know exactly that she was not such kind of girl who falls for such silly dialogues, yet I prepared them with utmost confidence. Just the confidence of moving a mountain with a pin!

When I was just approaching the calling bell, had a second thought “What if her father or mother opens up instead?”

Whatever, who cares, get going da Bala!

It sounds similar to my calling bell. Great – coincidence with this (alone!!!)!

.              .              .              .              .              .              .              .              .              .

“Sunday na podhume, endhrikave mattan!” my mom said to my uncle who visited long after.

My much awaited Sunday has come. It was 6 in the morning. I could have seen her in that dream atleast. Damn!

Brain, “Still 40 minutes for your train sir!”

God is Gonna be Crazyyyy…!