Minutes of Madness - Pre Final

“Hey this is too much!! I have never seen you worry! You speak as if you are down to earth sadist and desolated from life. But you are never! I envy you for your happiness!” she was literally trying to erase all my previous typo work with such a question.

“Really? I don’t think so! I have been happy and I am. But I have never seen and loved to see happiness from others. May be you need to hear a little more from me!” thought for a while and gave that reply but hoping she would agree at last!

“Yeah. Sure. Do continue!” she said with a little smile.

Thank god she smiled!

Even before I was happy at times but I thought of missed opportunities where I could have been happy. There are lot more bigger problems than your first love getting married, your friend making fun of you, delay in your date of joining and your friend choosing benefits over staying with you. There is a best part in life in every worst happening around you. I thought of people around me Aaradhana - Sam – Sahana – Priya – Anjana – Hydar. 
 
I regretted for not attending Aaradhana’s marriage. I was such a selfish fellow there who never wanted to look beyond my own happiness. If I have been there, I could have shown her that ‘I am still happy even without you’ so that she could have been more happy with her new life. 

I shouldn’t have chided Sam for just making fun of my love. What have I achieved with that? I have just made him not to attend that marriage. We both would have got a great time together if he was there that day!

I avoided talking to Sahana just because she chose other way is an act of sadist and I did that. I very well know she was unhappy with the way I behave and she felt the most when I just don’t talk to her the usual way. If I have talked to her as before, she would have been the happiest friend and would have stayed the best for me. 

Priya was the one who loved me without expectations, the love she had I have never understood so far. Still she kept on pouring the care and affection I would require which I considered as a disturbance. How faulty I am? She would have been the happiest girl in the entire life if I had said ‘I love you too baby’ that night but I was more interested in the reason behind her act.

Anjana was an ever smiling girl and I have avoided her many a time just coz she has a close friend other than me. How cheap I am with my thoughts? How can I just make it up straight hereafter? Friendship is not something to be strictly followed by rules. She is still my friend, but could have been more! I missed it too!

I should have enjoyed the day with Hydar when I received the call from the company. I should have given him a treat that afternoon when he was starving since morning in that RTO. I knew that, but still I avoided that. How I missed being happy that day? I regret and regretting is the only thing that I am good at. 

With all those thoughts flushing through my mind I have completed nearly all the temple visits and started on the return journey. Suddenly came to my senses and heard my dad was saying something to my mom, “. . . there is life beyond everything!”

I felt like shouting out – ‘I have missed just 20 years but still have more than that to enjoy!’

Minute of Wisdom!

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