I could not stand losing her again. I was scared whether
something had happened to her or someone had kidnapped her overnight. I kept
calling her number repeatedly. It was already mid-day when I was running tired
around the small town. Except for the stream and a Buddhist monastery there was
nothing much in the town. Searched for Mitu or anyone who can help me, but nobody
had a clue who Mitu was. I remember her mentioning Tawang and I started
enquiring about as how to reach Tawang. Struggled with the locals and their
language and finally found that I am in Dirang and not in Bomdila. Booked
another shared cab to Tawang from Dirang.
I had a strong belief nothing bad would
have happened to her and at the same time very much confused as why would she
go just like that. I was replaying our whole conversation last night in my head
to find whether I spoke something which had hurt her. I could not convince
myself with anything. The cab journey was hell with all those thoughts on my
mind. We were crossing the Sela Pass and the driver, whom I did not care to ask
his name, stopped for a short break.
There was a huge lake half - frozen just next to the pass.
It was freezing cold as we move up the altitude. I have always wanted to drive
through this pass but here I am standing with a heavy heart. I could not enjoy
the moment or the views.
I dialed her number again and this time it connected. She
picked up and said “Hello”. A thousand question suggestions came to my brain
still I stayed silent. She did not speak too. I have lived long enough without
talking to her, but these 12 hours broke me from inside more than those 5
years.
“Why?” I asked with a lump in my throat.
“That’s how I felt 5 years back. I could not do this for 12
hours straight and how did you do this for 5 years? I know you, at least I
thought I knew you then. Did you even think about me for a moment? Anyway, I did not want to disrupt your plans!”. Her words
always had an impact. This time a little more than ever. I could not answer to
any of that.
“You never answer. Do you? Ok. We are even now. Friends?” I
tried to switch topics and bring us back together. She smiled, and I could
sense it miles apart. That’s the beauty of, well – okay Friendship, right?
“No. I still have 5 years 26 days and 12 hours!”, she
responded jokingly. I checked the time and thought to myself – ‘I may have lot lesser than that!’
“Whatt! You had count? And, you never say ‘Yes’! By the way,
where are you now?” I asked her and continued my travel towards Tawang.
“Well, see you tonight!” She said and hung up. I was happy.
Happiness is a weird thing – you can be happy for anything - a great meal, a
beach, a bike ride, a sunset, a quote, a song, a good friend, a voice or even
India winning the world cup. But the real happiness is when you are happy for
yourself. Nothing can beat that feel of satisfaction and happiness when you
feel light. I felt that, for a brief moment and then my stomach started crying
for food. It’s been nearly a day since I had anything to eat – I opened a
snicker bar!
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