Life Is Beautiful - 04

I was quite happy even when she was ignoring me and had the complete confidence in me that I could convince her just before it happened. I have never imagined any girl in my life other than her; the same way, I have never even imagined a guy with her. The worst punishment a girl could ever give a guy is not ignoring with any reason but having a guy as a reason. I was not used to that kind of punishments before and I could not easily portray them in words either. Some call it a feel of possessiveness – some even say it was the upper hand of ego – psychologically some call it to be the fear of losing someone.

“She was social of the kind, I know. She talks with everyone except me, I know. She had some really good friends in girls, I know. She had one good guy as her friend, I never knew. Later I came to know, she had many good friends in guys. I should have never known that too.”

Brain started analysing practically, “You just wanted to ignore her, right? Why you bother much now?”

“Yeah. Does that mean I should never care about what she was doing??” heart replied.

“She don’t usually chat in college without a need, she said me when she was about to reject my chat request. She wanted to give a damn to those ‘gossip monkers’ she explained me why she is avoiding talking to me in campus.” added. 

I have never heard that ‘gossip monkers’ before she used it and even now don’t know what she meant! Even MS Word shows that to be out of dictionary! Though it was a kind of opposing me, I was really happy reading all that stuff with all hope she would come to me and we both will sit together and read those ignoring stuff and have fun. A deep breath and silence followed.

“Friendship is built with the art of making, but love happens. You can’t make it and I was waiting for that to happen with her. I could have really been her friend as I had the first chance! But I never wanted to use friendship for my cause. Purity of a relationship lies when you have something more than your nothing.”

“Too philosophical… could reduce it though!!” brain responded untimely. 

I have never failed in my life, never longed for a thing, never had the feel of losing, was never made fun of, and never feared for anything. But this love made me to understand life is not what I lived for these years and it’s something beyond that. I feared of losing her, I even tried to make up things by convincing me that being friends is never wrong. My dad was a kind of person who brings me everything even before I start thinking about it.

“Stop that. I don’t want to fail. I don’t want to lose. Just break it and come over it” Brain demanded with usual stubborn words.

“I too don’t want to fail - my hopes, I too don’t want to lose – her and Love is not a thing to be broken either!” heart was little slow and strong with words of love.

I just thought of ignoring and avoiding, just for fun and nothing seriously intended. Though it’s weird, it was not that much bad to provide such a bad consequence. I never wanted to leave her at any point of time.

“God do save him…” heart pleaded.

“He won’t come for silly reasons and conflicts!” Brain responded.

“Hmm… That’s right either. But my dad will. I am gonna call my dad and say everything!”

I regained my confidence back and took my mobile phone. Before I could press any button, he just called me. Little puzzled with the call at the unusual time, maybe he would have got something to say at the right time? I just answered.

“Paa…” before I could complete, he started

“Bala… Free??” a little bit of serious tone and I am new to it.

Life is Beautiful

Life Is Beautiful - 03

Tried all possible techniques and could not even stop gazing at her. The ultimate result – My hundi was full within few weeks! I decided, no way the ‘Hundi’ idea will work and so started thinking of different plans. It was near equal to an addiction to me – no harm, a beautiful addiction. I would have sat all day dreaming about her even if she is on leave. So I started recollecting all those I have heard before about and how to overcome an addiction. 

“Addiction kills people – Drinking, smoking!!”

“Addiction proves to be harmful!”

Brain started heaping up those data irrelevant to the current situation. Brain continued, “It starts as a hobby, develops as a practice and finally leaves us to addiction.”

“We cannot completely eradicate the habit suddenly!” inner voice responded not with a perfect reason and proof behind it, but with a feel of love in it.

Accepting the fact, “But can reduce it!” came the reply.

I started thinking over it. Usually there will be a nice war of words if I just start thinking about her and heart dominates most times, this time Brain took its chance. Even I don’t go with Brain’s ideas most times, but I have no cause or reason to be behind her still. 

I silently smiled to myself and said, “It was yet another psychological trick! She was avoiding me; in fact she was not even treating me as her classmate. I now want to show how it feels when someone does it to her!”

The next morning, got up early, took my college bus, sat down in my class – Usual. I dint await her arrival, dint notice the colour of her salwar, dint see her eyes and smiled to myself with shyness – Unusual!

Time ticked 11:20 and it was nearly 3 hours without a sight. There was no staff in the class, my usual practice would be to just turn around and see her – just see her and nothing else – couldn’t name what I will be doing actually. Now the tough time started, my friends started forming small groups of their own interests – Movies, sports, politics and most important ‘Guy’ things. I could not resist my inward intention just to see her, so stepped out of my class to find the staff. I was not the representative stuff or any other authority to call a staff member to the class now. But I just wanted to go out and I did.

Our college was one big 12 floor building postured horizontally. So we have longer corridors than higher steps. I started walking in the corridor to reach my department lab. It would be nearly a 150 metres walk. Within 50 metres I was stopped by a yet another “Excuse me” and it was her with her friend, asking me to see the concerned lecturer! I just looked up and turned my head towards the opposite side just as a repulsive force. Am not interested in cracking a senseless joke now, to say we are like poles and so we repelled!

I am not so good in neglecting I guess; actually I was trying to insult her by turning that way. But she wouldn’t even have noticed that and walked away. Once again I dint speak a word and it ended. I was happy that I have done what I wanted to. On the contrary, I was overjoyed that she spoke to me – the love factor! The further consequences of that thought led me to somewhere else I never wanted to!

“I wonder does she know my name or just fixed it in her mind as ‘Excuse me!’”

Heart regaining its lost enthusiasm, “Whatever, she called you!” 

“So what, it was just information to be passed and nothing else!” brain replied strongly.

“If it was just information, she would have asked her friend to tell me. She dint do that!”

“It was nothing to be discussed at all. You have reached the lab and so, stop smiling to yourself and do what you are expected to!” ordered the brain.

“I will… I will… She assigned me this!” heart said with utmost happiness.

Brain sighed and said, “You are destined for this even before she said you. It was just a reiteration!”

“Ha ha… Ha ha… Ha ha ha… Whattteverr!!” with full of enthusiasm!

Life is Beautiful

Life Is Beautiful - 02

Took out utmost pain in reaching the bus stop, as the rain hit very hard the morning. The roads took out a clean bath and now started to overflow. We had small ponds, little flowing rivers and even huge lakes! The road side sand hardened a bit with first few minutes of shower, later it started to loosen up and started forming a muddy mould with many tyre and foot path designs! I was totally engaged in watching the roads carefully and had no time even to think about her.

Heart responded softly “Nothing wrong in thinking! We have made that amendment!”

Smiled to myself and continued walking to reach the bus stop. I had to wait for another 5 more minutes in the rain with dripping umbrella and a shoulder bag. If I were not into the college, I would have certainly thrown the umbrella away and started enjoying the chill rain drops.

With that entire usual chit – chats in the bus, we finally reached our college. Best thing about our college is that they will make us feel the worst possible thing better! Now they have taken up the roads in India. All through the path, the red sand was turned clumsy with the ordinary sand and looked like a flour mix for Roti with excess water in it! We need to walk about 400 metres of such muddy mixture. It remembered me the ‘Takeshi’s castle’ in Pogo with all those skid and slid fun!

Alas, reached the dry zone – no pun intended here – just meant my first floor classroom without any symptoms of rain! Dropped my bag in my seat at the last bench and from there all I could see is only a cluster of umbrellas in the dais. Walked out of the class room and reached the corridor as I still had 5 more minutes for the bell (Siren :P). Nothing happened more interesting there and so returned back to my seat thinking of ways to win the bet.

Our class room was a 20 X 18 – nearly a square hall with 30 two seated benches aligned with 5 rows and 6 columns. Boys would take 3 and a half column leaving the rest to the girls. I usually take up the right side seat in the middle of three allotted columns in the last row. This right sided seat will be much effective in sighting process as we had corridor exactly to my left.

The first thing I decided was to swap places with my friend so that I would take the left seat so less chances of seeing her and thereby winning the bet! The classes started and I was very careful in not turning my neck to the other side.

Brain started, “You made the right amendment in time… now you think about her more than you usually do!”

“Shut up. Its maths class and no more thoughts!” I said to myself and started concentrating more. There was a small confusion with exchanging calculators. Though everyone have one calculator, no one brings them saving for the final examination. If the staff was in a good mood, she will allow us to share it; else will order us to get it from other department friends! So much of noise just ended up with a strong word from the staff. The class was completely silent and could even hear a simple pen click at every corner of the room.

Simple sounds of approaching footsteps and finally the staff started “Attendance please”

Her name was the first with so much of ‘A’ to start with and the chorus from the other side was “yet to come”. I just took my pain out of my neck to turn the other side just to see her desk to be vacant. The class turned to be noisy again and no one could hear the feeble foot step sounds approaching and yet another “Excuse me!”

Whole class turned towards the entrance, even I, just to lose a buck as she arrived late crossing the fresh pond!

 

Life indeed is Beautiful!

Life Is Beautiful - 01

A Saturday, September 2009:

All new things in the first few years started getting old – to be perfect, I lost the enthusiasm I had in doing things as I get used to the same people around. Life takes turns and the best part is to accept it and turn along with it. I had no other choice either. The best thing I had in my college life so far – Friends. One best thing with a friend is that, the deeper you grow in this relation, the greater you get to know about you!

Earlier, I hate the college without Aaradhana – but now I started hating the college even with her – but definitely not her! I could not stand the fear of losing my love but I wanted to see her happy. The only possible way it could be done is, staying away.

“I know, I cannot forget her!” I said to myself thinking of a plan to distance myself from her.

Brain intruded, “Who said you both were close?”

“I am serious now and don’t want any funny comments like that!” Heart was quite harsh with that reply but stayed upbeat.

“Whatever you say, I am practical and true always!” Brain purported in pride.

“No. You are not. I - I was close - to her... May be – she – she was -s- not...” started strong but later lost emotions with broken words.

“She is not my everything, but I am nothing without her. I don’t know where I am and what I am about to. I never knew this would be much tough when I just started. In fact, I never knew when it started even. No words in English could ever describe me in this case.”

A deep breath and a minute silence were broken again. “You are quite strong in your decisions and no more emotions Bala!” I said to myself and continued thinking of the plan.

“Yeah I found out - a bet!” Brain exclaimed and my whole body was synchronised with it. The best thing about a bet is that I have never lost one against my friends. But the worst thing is, I have never bet with my own self.

“Whatever, from now on, whenever you think of her you lose one rupee and so you should drop it the ‘post-box’ hundi!”

The deal was settled but within just 30 seconds I lost a rupee thinking “how to not think about her!”

So, thought of reframing the total rule for my bet. No one cares what you think about, so we will have like this, “Whenever you see her, you need to pay a buck!”

“Who cares when you just see?? No harm in that too!” heart loved a debate over this.

“Stupid, she does!” direct judgement came without any more to wait for the debate.

Finally with all possible favourable amendments, the deal was ok and bet was on when I just started thinking what all other possible ways to forget her.

“A grade up now! You wanted not to see – now thinking of forgetting. Great!” Brain was so much of a teasing kind with those words. May be one’s brain is the worst enemy if you want to do something emotionally.

The much awaited Monday came. Every bet has a life time, but the bet I have taken now will take my whole lifetime!

Life is Beautiful...

Life Is Beautiful - God Must Be Crazy (Part II)

A new venture - with lots of imaginations and lots of attempted fun, I have just turned my dreams into the Second part of God Must Be Crazy! I have named the characters with the same names just to improve readability. This part is totally a fiction with No Twists and No Turns! So, it stays simple!


And a mandatory - "All The Characters Are Purely Fictional And Not Intended To Hurt Anyone's Feelings And Any Relation To Real Life Characters Discovered Are Purely Coincidental!"



More Than All - Blogging is My Right!!

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